In honor of National Breastfeeding Awareness Month, I am reminiscing a story about you and my Dear Son. This is not a campaign for breastfeeding, nor is it explicit in any way. It is just a simple, endearing story about how DS took a hold of my heart one day and gave it a kiss worth so much love.
When I was pregnant with my Dear Daughter, nine long years ago, we bought a glider, a platform rocker type of rocking chair, so that I would have a comfortable place to nurse the baby. Due to a complication and with a broken heart, however, I had to wean DD early. But the glider was still a nice place to feed her or to rock her to sleep.
Then a few years later, DS came. I had the same complication while attempting to nurse him, but miraculously, and by accident, I figured out how to work through it and was able to successfully nurse him. For a LONG time. In that glider. Every day and every night. My memories of nursing him are usually highlighted by all those sleepless nights where I would drag myself from the comfort of my bed at 2, 3, or 4 AM to sit in that god-forsaken glider to nurse DS. His need to nurse heightened when he was teething, which meant that I would have to go not once, but multiple times each and every night, and that happened about every other month and would last a few weeks. I think what kept me going through this period of sleep deprivation was the fact that I felt like I was making up for not being able to nurse DD like I had desperately wanted to. Finally, 20 months later, DS decided that he didn't need to wake up at night to nurse anymore. My sister-in-law was pregnant, and I gladly gave her the glider since DS gave me my sleep back. Hallelujah.
After my Dear Niece was born, we would visit every now and then. During one particular visit, DS discovered that our glider, which he hadn't seen in many months, was in DN's room. At this time, DS was about two and a half, and he always carried his lovey, Bluey Bear, with him everywhere he went. He was not very verbal at the time, so usually he communicated with his actions. Now I wish I can tell you this story firsthand, but unfortunately, I did not witness it. I had gone to the restroom, only to come back out to hear the most fascinating story from my DH. And my MIL. And my SIL. And DD.
Apparently, when DS recognized the glider, he went right to it, climbed onto it, settled himself on it, and started to rock himself back and forth. Then, my darling little boy, cradled his Bluey Bear to his chest, looked at it with the sweetest of eyes, and held it close as he continued to rock on the glider. I think this is when DH watched him in total surprise to realize that DS was nursing his Bluey Bear. DS sealed the deal when he had Bluey Bear "switch sides."
Can you believe that I missed the whole thing? But I heard the story afterwards, not only from all the witnesses, but I heard it in their voices, in the excited ways they were telling me, and in their incredulous expressions. I heard what DS was doing: he was remembering the special times we had together in that glider, and he was nurturing that same bond with his Bluey Bear. I just looked at DS, who had already moved onto another piece of furniture, and I think my heart melted into gooey sweetness, and my eyes may have been a bit more dewy than usual.
To celebrate the month of August as Breastfeeding Awareness Month, I just wanted to walk down memory lane and tell about the wonderful times we had together. You were the place where I fed and nursed my children, where I rocked my babies to sleep, and where I spent so many sleepless nights wondering when I could finally get rid of you for good. But in the end, you will remain forever held close to my heart, in the same exact way DS held his Bluey Bear close to his.