Dear Word Diarrhea,
I am the
A good story has a beginning, middle, and end. You do your story no justice if you start telling it in the middle or just give up the punchline. You must set the scene, describe the characters, provide the event sequence, highlight the major points, elicit the 'ooohs' and 'aaahs,' and finish with a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Therein lies the term -- Word Diarrhea.
Some days, I'm mellow, quiet, and content. But some other days, when DH comes home from work, I am like a loaded cannonball waiting to fire at him. (Inside my head I see bullet points and highlighted text to cover). After all, he goes to work, and we all know that nothing much
I have a lot of things to say.
When I talk about something I am excited about, I get really animated. My voice gets louder and louder (if we're in public, DH has to gently remind me to pipe down); my arms swing ever which way (DS' head gets knocked if he's in arm's reach), my face makes about a thousand expressions within minutes, and after a few, I sometimes have to stop mid-sentence to suck in some oxygen because I had forgotten to breathe.
When talking to an acquaintance, Word Diarrhea is not appropriate for many reasons. You never want to be so rude to take the floor and keep talking nonstop. Even if the story is really good. There must be some semblance of a ping pong ball, back-and-forth sort of conversation. Or else you will never get the opportunity to talk
But a DH and a BFF is different. They don't really have a choice other than to listen to you rant. (Did I mention that while I am the host to this virus, the victim -- and true sufferer -- is really my audience?) My poor DH listens and listens, and halfway through my ten minute monologue, he gives me a discreet Smile of Understanding. I've seen that smile a million times. It's the you-are-so-funny-you-actually-have-that-much-to-say look. And that's when I realize I have to get to the point. Fast forward spewing words, waving arms, and making facial expressions.
My BFFs have received texts and emails from me titled 'Word Diarrhea.' Watch out, 'cause here comes the flood! Pages of single spaced, 12 point font typing with very few paragraph breaks. But because my BFFs cannot see my arms and expressions, those are written in the text. I'm that good. I guess I don't feel as bad writing a Word Diarrhea email, because my BFFs
Recently, I've noticed that a couple of smaller versions of me have appeared. DD and DS come home from school and start to spew out events, facts, happenings, and stories at me. At which time I must stop what I am doing and concentrate to hear what they are saying. I know, I know... This is 'me' getting a taste of my own medicine. But what I do love is seeing their little arms flap about and their grins and wide-eye looks as they tell me something exciting that happened at school that day.
Well, this Letter has turned into Word Diarrhea in and of itself. I guess I've done it again: I've created another monologue and splattered words all over the screen, and the reader doesn't even get a chance to get a word in edgewise. So I shall stop now.
Word Diarrhea, you are cleared out of my system. As... of... NOW. Until next time!