Friday, December 23, 2011

Dear Holiday Newsletter 2011


Dear Holiday Newsletter 2011,

I was able to force enlist Dear Husband to write you this year.  This is great for two reasons: one, he is a much better writer than I, and two, I can check one thing off my December list without having to do it.  So this is a guest post from my one-and-only: DH.  Enjoy!  (Please note that 'YT' is 'Yours Truly' indicating DH, and 'DW' would be 'Dear Wife' for me).

***

HOLIDAY NEWSLETTER 2011

Saying that YT is the “decider” in the family is like Dmitry Medvedev declaring that he is in charge of Russia while standing next Vladimir Putin.  It is a distortion of reality and will not go over too well.  Therefore, when DW matter-of-factly proclaimed that YT will be composing the holiday letter again this year, YT realized that there is very little wiggle room.  This is particularly so since DW has picked out the Christmas tree; bought the wreath for the front door; put out the mantle holiday stockings; chose the holiday card; and designed the family picture calendars on top of her day job of being Dr. Sears and Giada.  It is in this spirit of partaking in stress-free holiday fun that YT has penned this season’s greetings, instead of trying to google for a holiday letter outfit in Bangalore.  

Yes, this year has been a year of unprecedented developments and global challenges with the Great Recession, EU debt crisis and people occupying everywhere and anything bolted down.  Here is a quick run-down of some new tidbits in our humble household.

 Developments:
  • Dear Son’s favorite mantra these days is “I can do it by myself,” but in the helium-induced voice tone of a cartoon character.  DS is taking the school bus daily to his pre-school all by himself as well as independently managing wee-wee duties by following the simple rule of “shake it, don’t break it.”  Thanks to DS’s recent concussion and peanut allergy, we have sampled the local, late night hospitalities of the ER services at Advocate Good Shepherd (wonderful ice chips) and St. Alexius (great popsicles and movie selections) hospitals.
  • Dear Daughter is eating like a sumo wrestler and growing like weeds, both physically and intellectually.  DD looks forward to surpassing her mom’s height (question of when not whether) and is a voracious reader of literature (currently partial to the fantasy genre).  One area that DD has already surpassed her mom is in violin virtuosity (student now teaching mentor on how to play Pachelbel’s Canon).
  • DW has taken the plunge in channeling her inner-author by publishing her writings online.  DW is taking to blogging like fish to water, dust to TV screen, [insert your favorite analogy here], or Walkers to living flesh (YT is a big fan of the show).  DW has already wrapped up one blog dedicated to kids’ summer activities and is now focused on her second blog filled with witty musings on daily life (see http://letters-of-muse.blogspot.com).
  • YT has joined a legal 2.0 firm and the 40’s club.  

Challenges:
  • DS is a product of parents with OCD and AR lineages stretching back for millenniums.  Therefore, it is no surprise that DS has certain compulsive behaviors and particular idiosyncrasies that must be accommodated for household peace.  YT cannot sprawl out on the inviting family room couch (misplaced sofa pillows or infringed air space), and DW cannot arbitrarily change the sitting order at the family dining table (cosmic disturbance) without the resulting verbal tirades and abject abhorrence from DS.   
  • DD has the pain tolerance of a gnat.  Every discomfort feels like 11 on a 10 point scale.  It takes great self-control for us not to laugh while DD is in the depth of her agony and self-pity with ready-made pearls of tears.  We feel the need to apologize to DD in advance for the female pains/discomforts in store for her.
  • DW will be teaching a Sunday toddler class at our community’s non-for-profit Chinese school after the holidays.  DW will be dusting off her moth-balled teacher voice (as well as dancing and singing skills) and planning fun, yet educational, Mandarin curriculum for the attention-challenged toddler students and their parents.
  • For YT, see his Developments above.

As we are headed to Disney World over the holidays, may you wish upon a star and all your cleverly phrased New Year resolutions come true (or there is always next year right around the bend).  Here is to a tranquil and healthy New Year to you and your family. 

Happy Holidays from YT, DW, DD & DS!

***

So, Holiday Newsletter 2011, you've been stuffed in our holiday card envelopes and sent to our friends and family.  I know that you will bring a laugh or two to the readers.  And I think it's wise to have DH write you every year.   Cheers to our new tradition! 

Sincerely,
Me

3 comments:

  1. A true inspiration for all newsletterers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, I know *I* laughed. I think this is a tradition that may need to carry with him writing the letter from now on, no?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Elaine, Thanks! Like I said, DH is quite a writer, though he doesn't like to think so himself.

    Michelle, I laughed so hard when I first read it! I agree to the new tradition! I've passed the torch.

    ReplyDelete