Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

You are a treasure, a gift, and a bond that few of us can do without.  We face life's ups and downs and our most inner thoughts with you.  And if we're lucky enough, we find a 'One Friend' that we hold on to for dear life so that we can continue ours in the most fulfilling way.

I found my One Friend six measly years ago, but it already seems like we've known each other for a lifetime.  Our first interaction was at a Costco, both of our families in line waiting to check out.  Behind us was a little girl sitting in a shopping cart, and if I weren't partial to my own Dear Daughter, I would have thought that this little girl -- with her big, bright eyes and sweet, innocent smile -- was the cutest child I had ever seen.  This little girl has since become my DD's best friend.

And Cutest Little Girl's mom became mine.

Perhaps it was because we were both moms of very children-centered families, or because we came from the same Motherland, or because we seemed to both be afflicted with varying degrees of OCD, we were like two peas in a pod.  The fact that our girls were only a few weeks apart in age certainly helped when we would plan classes for them to take and activities for all of us to do.  The fact that we both love food also came in handy when we would plan lunch dates and family dinner meets.  The fact that we share another culture -- its traditions and foods -- also paved way for our friendship (and tummies) to blossom.

Our friendship eventually became a friendship between two families.

Shortly thereafter, I read a magazine article that described the struggles of a family finding their 'One Family', one that fits theirs like a glove and that they could hang out with often.  I immediately clipped that articled and sent it to my One Friend, because at that moment I realized that I had already found ours.  When we talk about chemistry and how hard it is to find someone to be compatible with, imagine melding two families together and having everyone jive.

We jive like we're Jitterbugs doing the Boogie-Woogie. 

As we muddled through our DDs' transitions to preschool, techniques in potty training, strategies with sleep issues, and challenges with personality eccentricities, we bonded like no other.  A few years later, both our second babies were born within six months of one another.  Then we held hands and braved through the newborn phase, the sleepless nights, and the trials of raising two kids.  We finish each others' sentences about how abnormally-attached our younger ones are to us, about how their independence milestones seem to be much later than that of other children, and about how our older girls seem to be growing up way too fast for our own readiness.  The similarities I share with my One Friend are so alike -- right down to our vacation spots and having a peanut-allergy kid each.

Nowadays, when a hostess greets us, and one of us says, "party of eight," you can be pretty sure that it's my family and hers waiting to be seated.

Since my One Friend is probably one of my most loyal readers, I would like to take this opportunity to say 'Happy Birthday!' to my kindred spirit, my trusted comrade, and my One Friend always. 

So, Friend, I cannot stress how important you are in our lives.  You are the representation of shared experiences, precious companionship, and partners-in-crime.  I hope everyone is as lucky as I am to have found a 'One Friend', and perhaps the added bonus of a 'One Family' along the way. 



  1. Sandra, you are so lucky to have found each other. I don't have a friend like that, or rather I had one, but she moved to the east coast, and another moved back to Brazil. Since then, 12 long years ago, I haven't found a single person I can call a true, in sickness and in health, friend. I have one friend that is my dearest friends of all, but she lives in Italy, bummer. Every time I think I feel that bond forming with someone, that little light of an amazing conversation you hope to keep going, a wall is erected and I can't go past it, it is really weird. I know of other foreigners who feel the same, not sure what it is, some people told me it is typical of California. I am a little jealous now....just kidding, I am happy for you. Once you find it, you know that your life is better because of it.

    Happy Birthday to your friend from me too!

  2. Laura, It's harder, but you can still have a true friend on another continent, and it does take a lot of effort in communication. I do hope you keep up with your dearest friend in Italy! It makes your visits to see one another all the more special. Thanks for your well wishes. I am very lucky!

  3. Sandra, yes my dear friend is still very close. She came to visit for two weeks in 2010 and that was amazing, then last summer I spent as much time I could with her. We have a great bond, but she is doesn't do e-mails nor facebook so we have a little void in communication sometimes. My dream is to spend long months in Italy when I am older so I can get my Paula fix anytime I want.

    Good luck with the four day break, make lots of cookies with the kids and don't worry about the mess ;o)

    I saw a gingerbread playdough at the site the sweet adventures of sugarbelle, I wish my kids would still enjoy playing with playdough.

  4. I definitely need to go to Costco more often :) You are very lucky!!!

  5. Oh that is SO sweet! I love that post, and you are absolutely 100% right that everyone needs that 1 friend. That 1 friend may change over time, but you need it no matter what. Love it - and happy birthday to her!

  6. Laura, I must not have written a clear FB update -- we were wishing for a four day weekend. Not to be had. Bummer your friend doesn't do email or Facebook. I bet there's so much for you guys to catch up on during each visit!

    Helen, Funny thing is that my friend doesn't even remember that first encounter at Costco! She might be mad at me now that I ratted her out, ooops! =)

    Michelle, you are so right. That one friend HAS changed over time. And I think this one is so special because we are both in the same stage of life, dealing with young kids and running a home on little sanity. She doesn't usually comment here (only on Facebook), but I know she is so happy to receive all these Happy Birthdays from friends here on the blog!

    Thanks, everyone!