Friday, July 13, 2012

Dear Do-As-I-Say


Dear Do-As-I-Say,

You are, of course, not the kind of parent I aspired to be.  But, as it seems, Parenthood has its set of unspoken privileges...

There are rules that we always mind.  We always buckle up in the car.  We always wear helmets when we're on bikes or scooters.  We always brush our teeth twice a day, no matter what.  But there are some rules that bend--for us as parents.  The kiddos, unfortunately, don't know that.  So just short of calling ourselves (Dear Husband and I) hypocrites, here are the Top Ten things that we say, "Do as I say":

10.  Share.  Of course we're supposed to share.  But have you ever started eating something and all of a sudden there's a swarm of kiddos smothering you screaming, I want some, Can I have some, too?  Yeah, me, too.  But sometimes I really don't want to share.  And that would be why two nights ago I found myself sitting at the kitchen table coveting my own bowl of watermelon, after the kids went to bed.  #idontshareifyouresleeping

9. No snacks before dinner.  The hour before dinner is sometimes hard for the kiddos.  Sometimes it's hard for me, too.  The pantry door just knows when to open itself up for those pieces of chocolates to throw themselves at me and into my mouth.  #yesimcookingasfastasican

8.  No money, no toys.  Many trips to Target warrant the same explanation for Dear Son, who always want to buy a toy.  Sometimes we are lucky enough to walk out of the store without 'extra' stuff.  Because you know, when we don't have any money for toys is exactly when a couple of music albums in our cart on amazon.com check themselves out and magically appear on our music players that very same night.  #wirelesspurchasesrock

7.  Limit screen time.  The kiddos have limited screen time for TV, Nintendo DS, and computer games.  It's hard on your eyes; You need to rest your eyes; It's not good for your eyes; yada yada yada.  Apparently the kiddos are still self-absorbed enough to at the age where they only notice their own activities while I'm glued to the laptop or my smartphone, going blind as we speak.  #theythinkimworking

6.  Eat breakfast.  The kiddos must always eat breakfast, no matter how much they don't feel like it, and especially if they are going off to school.  DH eats breakfast on weekends.  When I've eaten too much the day before, I eat breakfast coffee.  #breakfastiscreamandsugar

5.  No food or drinks upstairs.  The kiddos are lucky if they get to snack on the coffee table in the living room.  There is never any food or drinks allow upstairs for them.  But it's amazing how snacks and beverages find their way upstairs as soon as the young'uns are out cold.  #wheresmycoaster

4.  Put your toys away.  Of course the kiddos are told to put their toys away when they're done playing with them.  It's a wonder how they haven't equated their put-away toys to my three baskets of unfolded laundry.  #soonenoughtheywill

3.  Read everyday.  The kiddos both read or are read to everyday.  It's a school requirement as well as an enrichment they both enjoy.  Sure, I read everyday.  And if you count Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram reading, then I sure as heck follow that rule, too!  #sobehindonmyreadinglistthisyear

2.  Don't overeat.  We all know how awful it feels to overeat.  That's why we always tell the kiddos to 'listen to their tummies'.  When their tummies say, 'stop', then they stop eating, even when what they're eating is super delicious.  Too bad my tummy's mute.  #nowillpowerwhatsoever

1.  Eat appropriate food for meals.  No, the kiddos don't get to eat ice cream for breakfast, except on their birthdays, so it seems.  And I'm not a cold-pizza-for-breakfast kind of person.  But when Daddy's out for a work event, there's nothing more awesome than eating breakfast for dinner!  Homemade pancakes and scrambled eggs were a great hit last night!  #winwinforeveryone

Notice I left out the "not as I do" part behind "Do as I say," because the kiddos do not know what we do is any different from them.  I should have just hastagged the entire post as #shhhh.  The kiddos can continue to just 'do as I say, not as I do' until they become parents themselves, and then they will have earned the right to these 'parental privileges'.  Until then, we know what's best for you.

So, Do-As-I-Say, will ya help me keep mum and keep this our own little secret?  At least for now, while the kiddos are still young?  'Cause when they get older, you're gonna get a lot harder to uphold, and I may actually have to follow some of my own set of new rules around here.  But until then, I get to sneak snacks behind the pantry door and drink cocktails in my bedroom.  No harm, no foul.  Plus, sharing is so overrated.

Sincerely,
Me

18 comments:

  1. Haha! I love this post! It's so true. I don't have any older kids (yet) to reference everything listed here, but I am totally guilty of "not picking up my toys" all the time. I guess all parents are hypocrites at one point or another ;)

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    1. I'm not too proud to admit these! (My gracious DH, however, would have not problem sharing *anything* with the kiddos; he's wonderful like that.) Like I said, no harm, no foul. Just don't get caught. =) Thanks again for sharing this post, Cassie!

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  2. Ha ha ha... same here. I'll keep your secret if you keep mine!!! :)

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    1. That's a deal, Susi! Shhhh! Thanks for reading!

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  3. I'm guilty of many of these things also. I've actually swallowed pieces of chocolate whole to avoid getting 'busted' when one of the kiddos sneaks up on me. Thank goodness chocolate melts quickly or I'd surely have choked!

    When the kids spend the night at their grandparents' house, the protein, veggie, starch meal is tossed out the window. We'll eat chips and dip for dinner instead.

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    1. Haha, that's why I go for the chocolates in the pantry, too! If our kids spend the night elsewhere (we don't have grandparents nearby), we surely would do the same thing! I guess one of the benefits of having kids is they help ensure that we eat healthy, nutritious food most of the time. =)

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  4. I'm impressed that going into fourth grade your daughter hasn't called you out yet. The wee ones do sometimes now notice the difference, but I do explain it as a maturity and judgement thing and tell them that when they show me that they can make good choices, we can do things differently. Because we have SO many of those same rules differences around here, too!

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    1. Haha, Michelle, sometimes I wonder, too! I'm not sure if she really doesn't know (some), or she's just too kind to call us out on it (others). I hope it mostly has to do with her understanding of the maturity/good judgement reason since we've talked about some grown-up issues such as drinking alcohol and watching R-rated movies. DS, on the other hand, is pretty much clueless at this point. I'm glad I'm not alone with these 'rules'! =)

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  5. This was so true. While I'd like to think I practice what I preach to my kids, I know I fall short sometimes!
    Awesome post!!

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    1. Well, we've got a lot more years on those kids, right? I think they'll get their turn when they become parents--this gift just keeps on giving! =) Thanks for stopping by, Carolyn! (I came to your post via #MemoriesCaptured.)

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  6. This is hysterical. I don't share my ice cream. I eat chocolate first thing in the AM sometimes (a girl has to do what a girl has to do). I take snacks up to my room. Oh and PB, marshmallow fluff sandwiches totally count as dinner for me sometimes.
    Love this post!!

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    1. Absolutely. A girl's gotta do what a girl's has to do. Since I don't like to share, it must all happen when the kiddos are snoring. Thank you for reading! (I came to your post via #MemoriesCaptured.)

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  7. yep, I do quite a few of these things too. Shhhhh - but sometimes what they don't know won't hurt them. Yet. ;)

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    1. Exactly. I'm waiting for the day I'll get caught eating in my room or looking back at the kiddos innocently with smeared chocolate on my mouth. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Thanks for stopping by, Missy! (I also came to your post via #MemoriesCaptured.)

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  8. Ha! Great! But when they are old enough to call you out on the laundry, they will be old enough to fold it. So there's that. ;) Ellen

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    1. YES! You are absolutely right, Ellen!! I WILL remember that when that time comes. (Shhh, I just got called out about being on the computer first thing in the morning when the kiddos wanted to play games on it; they're growing up too fast!) Thanks so much for stopping by!!

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  9. Hi Sandra, thanks for sharing this post with me b/c every.single.one I can relate too! I wonder sometimes, why we do tell our kids to say "please" and "thank you" and share when obviously, I don't do most of those things now. But then I realize, we are teaching them the foundation to be courteous and kind by these seemingly trivial acts. Anyways, again, I can relate on all of these, and I can now see that we are building a foundation for them to be responsible adults. Adults bend the rules, but we know what we should be doing, and that's important, right?

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