You are, of course, not the kind of parent I aspired to be. But, as it seems, Parenthood has its set of unspoken privileges...
There are rules that we always mind. We always buckle up in the car. We always wear helmets when we're on bikes or scooters. We always brush our teeth twice a day, no matter what. But there are some rules that bend--for us as parents. The kiddos, unfortunately, don't know that. So just short of calling ourselves (Dear Husband and I) hypocrites, here are the Top Ten things that we say, "Do as I say":
10. Share. Of course we're supposed to share. But have you ever started eating something and all of a sudden there's a swarm of kiddos smothering you screaming, I want some, Can I have some, too? Yeah, me, too. But sometimes I really don't want to share. And that would be why two nights ago I found myself sitting at the kitchen table coveting my own bowl of watermelon, after the kids went to bed. #idontshareifyouresleeping
9. No snacks before dinner. The hour before dinner is sometimes hard for the kiddos. Sometimes it's hard for me, too. The pantry door just knows when to open itself up for those pieces of chocolates to throw themselves at me and into my mouth. #yesimcookingasfastasican
8. No money, no toys. Many trips to Target warrant the same explanation for Dear Son, who always want to buy a toy. Sometimes we are lucky enough to walk out of the store without 'extra' stuff. Because you know, when we don't have any money for toys is exactly when a couple of music albums in our cart on amazon.com check themselves out and magically appear on our music players that very same night. #wirelesspurchasesrock
7. Limit screen time. The kiddos have limited screen time for TV, Nintendo DS, and computer games. It's hard on your eyes; You need to rest your eyes; It's not good for your eyes; yada yada yada. Apparently the kiddos are still
6. Eat breakfast. The kiddos must always eat breakfast, no matter how much they don't feel like it, and especially if they are going off to school. DH eats breakfast
5. No food or drinks upstairs. The kiddos are lucky if they get to snack on the coffee table in the living room. There is never any food or drinks allow upstairs
4. Put your toys away. Of course the kiddos are told to put their toys away when they're done playing with them. It's a wonder how they haven't equated their put-away toys to my three baskets of unfolded laundry. #soonenoughtheywill
3. Read everyday. The kiddos both read or are read to everyday. It's a school requirement as well as an enrichment they both enjoy. Sure, I read
2. Don't overeat. We all know how awful it feels to overeat. That's why we always tell the kiddos to 'listen to their tummies'. When their tummies say, 'stop', then they stop eating, even when what they're eating is super delicious. Too bad my tummy's mute. #nowillpowerwhatsoever
1. Eat appropriate food for meals. No, the kiddos don't get to eat ice cream for breakfast, except on their birthdays, so it seems. And I'm not a cold-pizza-for-breakfast kind of person. But when Daddy's out for a work event, there's nothing more awesome than eating breakfast for dinner! Homemade pancakes and scrambled eggs were a great hit last night! #winwinforeveryone
Notice I left out the "not as I do" part behind "Do as I say," because the kiddos do not know what we do is any different from them. I should have just hastagged the entire post as #shhhh. The kiddos can continue to just 'do as I say, not as I do' until they become parents themselves, and then they will have earned the right to these 'parental privileges'. Until then, we know what's best for you.
So, Do-As-I-Say, will ya help me keep mum and keep this our own little secret? At least for now, while the kiddos are still young? 'Cause when they get older, you're gonna get a lot harder to uphold, and I may actually have to follow some of my own set of