Thursday, February 14, 2013

Dear Love-Is-Blind


Dear Love-Is-Blind,

You are a popular saying to describe boundless love--the kind that neither reason or logic can sway, but is always guided by feel instead of sight.  While this kind of love can be dreamy and romantic for young lovers, it can be a calamitous curse for old married couples.  Ahem.

Being that I am no longer young nor dreamy, I am fully aware that I belong in the practical and pragmatic "old married couple" group.  Which makes me feel rather sorry for Dear Husband, who must be so blinded by love that he still tolerates me and all my shenanigans.  There are many, and so I bring you my #TopTen list of things DH must endure--courtesy of moi. 

10.  Who stays mad after waking from a dream wherein DH did something ostensibly offensive?  I do.  Imagine his surprise waking up to an angry wife because of something he didn't actually do!  #ButTheDreamWasSoReal

9.  Who can go on and on spewing out Word Diarrhea about everything and anything under the sun because there is a pair of ears that has no choice but to will listen?  I can.  Imagine DH bracing himself for this sort of verbal abuse; I wouldn't be surprised if he practices selective hearing during these bouts of one-way conversations.  #WereYouListeningToMe

8.  Who can do no wrong in her children's eyes while they usually turn a deaf ear to their daddy?  I can.  Imagine him being treated like chopped liver by his little Pot O' Vinegar club members, while they only come to him to ask for toys, to blame for something they won't blame their mommy, and to make demands of various kinds.  #NoIDidNotBrainwashThem

7.  Who speaks in absolute terms (the "you always" and "I never"s), whether they are statements, questions, or <gasp> rhetorical questions?  I do.  Imagine his resignation at my verbiage of 100% certainty.  #BecauseIAmAlwaysRight

6.  Who has perfected her passive-aggressive demands to textbook-worthy examples ("I'm thirsty!" instead of "Can you please get me a drink?"; "I'm cold!" instead of "Can you please get me a sweater?")?  I have.  Imagine his eye-roll reluctant acceptance of my innocent exclamations.  #DontWannaSoundTooDemanding

5.  Who demands wishes her spouse to be psychic and able to read her mind?  (Wait, you've never heard of such a thing?  <Wheeze>.)  I do.  Imagine him racking his brains to come up with the correct answer so that he can stand for a treat.  Oh, sorry; I jest.  #DingDingDingRightAnswer

4.  Who never cooks spicy foods, ever, when her spouse is quite fond of it?  That would be I.  Imagine him taking out his pitiful little jar of spicy chili sauce to add to his foods, all by his own lonesome self.  #UmYourHotSauceIsExpired

3.  Who can scare the living daylights out of the driver--from the passenger seat--because she has driving anxieties (even when she's not driving)?  I can.  Imagine his cringe at deafening screams--so loud they can cause traffic accidents themselves--because, well, I'm a freak.  #BackseatDriverInThePassengerSeat

2.  Who apparently likes to ask her spouse trick questions?  (When I asked DH if he could possibly help me think of items for this very list, he answered, "There aren't ANY!" without missing half a beat.  He claims that he wasn't married yesterday.)  Apparently, I.  Imagine his defensive guard countering my innocent inquiry.  #JustWondering

Last, but not least...

1.  Who is put to complete shame when it comes to orderliness?  I am.  Our his and her closets would reveal our polar opposite tolerances for clutter: his is of showroom caliber, while mine should have a closed-door policy at all times.  Imagine his inaudible sighs when he actually goes into my closet to hang up pieces of clothing from the floor for me because he cannot stand seeing them all strewn about #HangsHeadInShame

As if you cannot tell already, DH is a saint.

So, Dear Love-Is-Blind, you must be a true saying if DH has lasted this long with me and my torturous tendencies.  Or perhaps I have managed to reduced DH's eyesight to near blindness with my tomfoolery over the years.  Or perhaps having the right chemistry allowed us to shape tolerance into compromise on our little life stage called Marriage.  Whatever the case it may be, I am blessed to have someone who loves me in spite of me.  And despite my craziness.  So it would only be appropriate, today, to give a shoutout to my brave and chivalrous DH who has had the patience to keep me around. 

Cuz he's too blind to show me the way out. 

Happy Valentine's Day, Honey!

Sincerely,
Me


12 comments:

  1. Awww you definitely do have an amazing husband. Enjoy and be grateful for it! And being mad because he did something in a dream? Nope, you aren't alone there, my friend!

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    1. Thanks, Michelle! Am I ever grateful! And I'm so glad to hear I'm not alone in the dream thing--it is so legit until I *really* wake up, you know?! :)

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  2. I like you sweet but not too sappy Valentine post.

    My husband has waken up from dreams mad at me, too. (If I dream, I don't remember them.) Good thing love is blind - even better when it has a short memory - or the years of marriage would seem infinitely longer. Just the other day, my husband made some comment about knowing each other twenty years. "Nuh-uh" I'd told him...but when I added it up, it's eighteen...close enough to twenty to be scary :)

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    1. Hi, Janna, I try not to be too sappy--I save that for the only person it should be intended for :). I guess it's nice to hear that the staying from a dream thing is not exclusive to women--it even happens to the best of us! And the 20 years? We've past that mark already, can you believe it? Together since 1991, and married since 1996. Definitely scary, but also comforting, in a sense. Did your husband respond with a "yuh-huh"? :)

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  3. I, too, wake up and stay mad at husband for what he did in my dreams. Love this post. I can relate to so many items on your list. Our husbands might be saints. Then again, so might we. Also, our conversation with our children on V-day was about how you know you really love someone - you love them in spite of all the quirks and because of all the crazy. My DH told my kids that's how he knew he really loved me. Ha! We've been in each others lives for 20 years now and it flies by.

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    1. I really am so glad to hear that I'm not alone with the dream thing, Cindy; I feel less like a weirdo now. It seems so silly, but when you're in that waking moment, it's all too real. I love your conversation about the "in spite of" and "because of". Those are so true. And my motto is: It takes a Crazy to love a Crazy. Sometimes you just know it, and I'm so glad I knew it twenty some-odd years back as well. Thanks so much! BTW, I love your hubs' videos and recipes!!

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    2. I like your motto. There's some fun stuff coming up this weekend, I hope.
      And thanks for watching the videos and liking the site. It's his passion. Try out the pierogi - they seem to be the biggest hit and they are SO delicious.

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    3. I will definitely take a look at the pierogi recipe--I've never tried to make that before! I did love how you got "punked" by his "mask" a little while ago, LOL!

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  4. Ha, this post is adorable, mostly because I can relate to it far too much! What I've come to realize is there is a spectrum of givers and takers. We each fall on that spectrum somewhere and are best matched with someone on the exact opposite end of that spectrum. In my house, I am an emotional taker - I need my partner to let me be emotional, sometimes irrationally so, and to support me no matter what. Sweets does exactly that. It's not to say I never provide him emotional support, because that's not the case. It's just I need support more than he does and he's willing to offer support when I need it. Make sense? Anyway, you had me giggling, smirking and nodding my head throughout this post. Maybe I should share it with Sweets, so he knows he's not alone.

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    1. Makes total sense, Nilsa! We all need support in different areas. Partners need support from one another in same AND different ways. These are just the things that I "take" from DH, but I know I do not take him for granted. Anyone who can relate to this post would have to have a Saint for a life partner, FOR SURE! I only hope that I also reciprocate in ways that DH needs, too (surely I do?)! Definitely let Sweets know that he's not alone, and that we don't take the hubsters' kindness for granted! <3

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  5. This is pure love, how he turns a blind eye to your demands and other sillinesses. I think it's cute :).

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    1. Thanks, Lisa! He was a good catch, wasn't he? Just kidding. I'm very lucky and I know it! :)

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