Friday, April 12, 2013
It seems to me that you get us with the notion of your Law every chance there is. Sometimes you can be pretty merciless as you declare to us, "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong." Today, I share my current Top Ten Cases of Things Gone Wrong:
10. The one day you decide to buy a glass jar of milk from a specialty dairy farm for twice the store brand retail price so that your child would find it appealing enough to drink more milk is the day he takes one sip of the milk and says, "I don't like the taste of this milk." #YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe
9. The one time you open your big mouth to chime in on a basketball game by you and your husband's alma mater to remark how well the team seems to be doing at half time is the day your husband decidedly accuses you of being responsible for its loss because you usually never care enough to say anything about any sports games MUCH LESS THE WOMEN'S FINAL FOUR one. #SorryHoney
8. The one occasion you roll up your sleeves to bake for a special event is the day you forget to add one ingredient (sugar or vanilla extract) which makes all of your cupcakes completely and utterly defective. #Really?Seriously?
7. The one weekend morning you are able to sleep in and make up for all that stress and sleep deprivation from the long week is the morning your children are all up earlier than rise-and-shine on a school day and are partying-like-it's-1979 in your bed. #PunchMeInTheFace
6. The one day you have a very important appointment but foolishly cram in one more task on the computer before leaving to make it right on time is the day you start the engine of your car and the gas warning light shines a little too smugly at you. #CursingLikeAMimeInsideTheCar
5. The week I see my tulips emerge from the ground after the last snow is the week I discover they've stopped growing because ravenous creatures of the wild have been feasting on their tender shoots like it's an all-you-can-eat Spring Bulb Brunch . #ShooFurryChompersShoo
4. The moment you are ready to sit down at the computer to get working is the time you see 7 Facebook notifications, 23 unread emails, 11 Twitter mentions, 4 repins, and 5 Google+ invites all screaming at you from across the 50 tabs you have open on your browser. #PrioritiesPeople
3. The every.single.time your child gets a 104 degree temperature out of nowhere is always the hour your pediatrician's office closes on a Saturday afternoon and the next available appointment is 42 hours later. #DefineOpportuneTime
2. The one night your child wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (yay for not peeing in bed) is the night he misses the toilet and you find yourself on your hands and knees at 3:38 AM wiping pee off the floor. #AimItOrTameItLittleMan
1. The final time you declare Spring has arrived because it is April and the rest of the world is already in shorts and tank tops and you've already put away your winter coats is the week where you'll need your snow boots yet again because Mother Nature is schizophrenic in my part of the world and is gracing us with a forecast of snow. #ItsAprilForCryingOutLoud
And by you I mean me.
So, Dear Murphy, I hope you are getting a kick out of your doings. Cuz someone has to find such nonsense meaningful. But I'll forgive and forget if you bring Spring on by and make her stay. I am way too depressed from days and days of rain and cold.
Because of course, the moment she comes and stays is the day I'll begin to sneeze and itch like there's no tomorrow.
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