Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Dear Not-Good-At


Dear Not-Good-At,

You are representative of our limitations.  We are only human, and we have our talents and shortcomings.  Knowing where we fall short is the beginning of making improvement in that area--should we want to do so.  It's been awhile since my last #TopTen, so here is a list of my #TopTen things I'm not very good at:

10.  Sewing.  I can knit like a champ, but sew?  My ability to sew is stops at owning a sewing machine--one that I haven't touched for about six years.  You'd think that sewing is so much more welcomed because of its instant gratification appeal, but no--I must like the crafting that takes forever and a day to complete.  I've tried to sew, and all I end up doing is pricking my fingers countless times with those annoying pins, jamming my thread in the fabric, or--the best yet--breaking my sewing needle on the machine.  Four needles in a row.  #MyLifeCannotDependOnIt

9.  Singing.  And while we're on that topic, let's add Dancing, too.  I can carry a tune but I'm no singer.  I can dance a routine but I have no rhythm.  And that might be why some of my favorite shows are singing and dancing reality shows.  I live vicariously through truly talented people.  #PerhapsInMyNextLifetime

8.  Remembering.  From the plot of a recent movie I watched to where exactly I'm driving to, I seem to be losing some serious brain cells, thanks to my new membership of the 40s Club.  At my physical checkup the other day, the nurse instructed me to put on the gown with the opening in the front, like a robe.  On the drive home I suddenly realized that I had put it on exactly the wrong way.  I can't quite explain this disconnect, but I should probably be grateful that I even realized my mistake.  The next step would be going about my day oblivious to my own dementia.  #ImReallyNotStupid

7.  Public speaking.  Terrible, terrible at this.  I have a reflexive reaction to just to the thought of opening my mouth in public: my heart pounds so loudly that I swear everyone in the room can hear it.  If I don't have to speak, still, my face flushes and my hands drip with sweat.  If I do have to speak, I'll make no sense whatsoever, and then a clear train of thought will arrive in my head when my moment to speak is waaayyyy over.  #WhyIStayVeryQuietAtMeetings

6.  Twittering.  *Raises both arms*.  I've completely and utterly surrendered to Twitter.  I'm no good at it.  I don't use it correctly, and I suck at making witty, funny comebacks.  I just don't know how to have a conversation with complete strangers.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with having meaningful conversations with complete strangers, it's just that I am probably the boring-est stranger you'd ever talk to.  #YourTweetingIsMyQuacking

5.  Promoting blog.  It is still hard for me to think that anyone would want to read this blog, unless you're my Dear Husband, who reads it because I shove a laptop two feet from his face whenever there is new content.  Enough always comes to mind: is it good enough? interesting enough? bloggy enough?  I don't actively seek out readers or followers or promote posts for maximum visibility on social media, but I do treasure the peeps who do come by from time to time.  Do I wish I had more readers? Of course.  Will I do anything about it? Probably not.  It's just not me.  I'm writing this for me, and if some readers enjoy it along the way, well, that makes my heart happy, too.  #AdvertisementFail

4.  Multitasking with music.  Moms all know how to multitask, right?  Sure, I can cook and post a status update on Facebook at the same time.  Or I can clean and know exactly what my kiddos are doing at the same time.  I can even knit and watch TV at the same time.  But I cannot think while listening to music.  Which means I must read, write, and think in absolute silence.  The only time I can listen to music is when I clean, and even that is sometimes questionable.  It's like my brain can only tolerate one voice at a time. #SorryMyBrainIsFull

3.  Being a good bloggy friend.  I'm very guilty of not being the most timely reader/commenter to my friends' blogs.  I read them in volumes and spurts instead of routinely as posts are published (do others do this?).  I prefer setting aside a chunk of time to read and comment because I don't always get computer time everyday.  I also try to be vigilant about responding to comments here as much as I can, but sometimes that 'vigilance' sounds more like 'negligence'.  Whoops, sorry!  #HeadPalm

2.  Schmoozing.  In a large crowd at a party?  I'm so not good at making conversation among people.  There are way too many moments for awkward silences than I care for when I must converse with people I don't know.  Schmoozing is an art, and one that I have no mastery of.  If a good schmoozer is smooth, then I am as lumpy and bumpy as it gets.  #FindMeInTheCornerWithTheBooze

1.  Being fearless.  I was not brought up to be fearless.  In fact, I pretty much fear everything there is to fear (heights, speed, spiders, criticism).  Which means that I don't know how to teach my own kiddos to be fearless.  I know that some degree of fear is a good precaution for such things as stranger danger, but in most cases, one probably accomplishes more, or at least tries more new things, when one is more fear-less than fear-ful.  One of my major parenting shortcomings is that my kiddos are not apt to try new things very readily.  And I'm not one to encourage any sort of physical activity that has high risks of injury simply because I don't want them to suffer unnecessary pain.  But of course, I realize that participation could also achieve just the opposite, as experience usually keeps injuries at bay.  I'm probably overly cautious over all things, and not always in the best way, but it is what it is.  They say one becomes less fearful as one ages, so there's still hope for me?  #NotMadeToBeUnafraid

There are many more things that I am not good at, obvs! but these are the first ten that came to mind.  Not to be down on myself for any of this, but it is a good start to know what I need to work on.  Numbers 8, 3, and 1 I should definitely work on getting better at, and numbers 10, 9, and 4 I'll probably just not waste any more time and give up altogether right now.  And maybe on a day where I'm treading and keeping my head just above water and need a self-esteem builder, I'll work on a #TopTen list of Things I'm Awesome At.

So, Dear Not-Good-At, hopefully your list will evolve over time.  I know that some of the things I was not good at a decade ago I am much better at now.  I am more self-assured and can say no when I need to, I care less about what others perceive of me, and I am better at protecting myself from emotional wreckage.  And I know that's a good start.

Sincerely,
Me

12 comments:

  1. Sandra, except for sewing, I am right there with you on all the rest! I can't talk in public, when I am in a group and it is time to introduce myself I feel I am having a heart attack my heart is pounding so hard. I always leave parties before my husband does when I can, I am lost in a crowd.

    What is it with the music, I feel the same, I need silence when thinking...

    Thanks for the laugh, funny how similar we are.



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    1. Hi, Laura! We are indeed similar if you suffer my same silly antics! Good for you on the sewing--I thought about maybe pulling out my sewing machine to give it another try for a "quick" project, but my heart always tells me to go for the knitting needles and my stash of yarn. As for music, I was never the child told to turn off the music during homework time; my brain never had that capability anyway. Thanks for reading, Laura--I'm glad you enjoyed this one!

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  2. I can relate to so many of these things. Of your list, I'm not good at Singing (and dancing), Remembering, Public Speaking, Twittering (I guess I can't be good at it if I don't even have an account!) and Promoting my blog (and I even try - double fail!). I'm not fearless (there are a lot of things I refuse to try), but I have been pretty good at raising Gavin to be fearless. (By the way, stranger danger is WAY overrated in terms of the statistics of kids being harmed by strangers -- but, it is always good to raise a child to be cautious of someone they don't know or a situation that doesn't feel right!)

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    1. Nilsa, IMHO, you're not missing much on Twitter, but that's coming from a Clueless User. I think it was actually one of your posts that made me realize how I'm not able to instill fearlessness in my children as you have with Gavin. At least now I'm aware of it and can try to be a little more encouraging for them to try new things. But I know my limitations. Thanks for the enlightenment, and for always being such a wonderful (and timely) bloggy friend, Nilsa!

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  3. Haha--my memory is horrible. I may as well never have read any books or seen any movies. Can't remember a thing from any of them!

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    1. Hi, Asianmommy! You and me, both!! Books and movies are a mystery to my brain. I can enjoy them so much in the moment and forget everything there is to forget about them soon after. Ugh! But thanks for making me feel better!

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  4. Sorry for commenting late (but I guess I'm ok b/c you wrote #3. I don't mind you don't read when things are posted because neither do I, as you can see. I'd rather sit at my comp & read & comment than on my phone, which requires time.). Hehe, what a funny/cute photo. Did you add the text yourself? Super cute. I also can't sew, though I do try :). Mostly hemming which still takes me HOURS. Hehe about the gown being backwards. Only people like us would even bother with the thought that "oh goodness, the nurse musta thought I was in idiot!" Am I right or am I right? As for Twitter, just be yourself, witty or not! The thought crossed my mind to promote my blog, but then I thought it was too much work and pressure. I like posting when I want to and writing for me and my few readers. Good for you for identifying those things you can improve about yourself, while letting the other "smaller" things go. You should definitely write a top ten awesome post! We all need to congratulate ourselves from time to time!

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    1. Hi, Lisa! One of the two photo-editing apps I purchased made the pic. The free version is Overgram, and the paid version is Over. I love that app! I took the pic at the zoo in the spring on a field trip with DS. :)

      Re the gown, my doctor was tugging at my gown a lot during the exam, and upon retrospect, I now realize why. Sigh. You are right! Only peeps like us... Maybe I'll learn a thing or two at BlogHer next month about promoting blog, although it's still not me. We shall see... Thanks for stopping by at all; you know I'm infamous for being late. :)

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    2. Oooh, BlogHer! Can't wait to hear about it!

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  5. We have a lot in common, Sandra!

    9 - don't sing (in front of people) or dance (at any time) but I do love my singing/dancing reality TV shows

    8 - I put reminders for everything in my phone. If I lose my phone, I might as well curl up and die

    7 & 2 - avoid at all costs.

    6 & 5- haven't tried, but based on past experiences where I have to seem interesting or "sell" myself, it's best I sit this out :)

    1 - I'm fearful of just about everything and it's so hard to let the boys be boys. Thank goodness my husband is around because he lets them do things I would say 'no' to, but it's good for them to experience. I have to remind myself that getting hurt is part of living and the kids need to experience (with some boundaries, of course).

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    1. Oh, and I forgot the obvious one - #3. I'm reading and commenting a week after you posted this...enough said :)

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    2. Janna! I'm happiest to find bloggy friends that have a lot in common with me! I do put things on my phone, too, but thank goodness for autosync--Google keeps me out of trouble with that, not that I want to lose my phone or anything. I guess my biggest challenge on this list, #1, is the one that I really want to overcome, and one that would take the most to accomplish. I'm not sure if I ever will, but like you said, with boundaries, and in moderation might be good starting points. Finally, as for #3, I'm so guilty of that right now it's not even funny. As you can see, my blog has gone on summer vacation as well. We're not vacationing (unlike you were), I'm just not able to write with the kids around all the time. Which means it's taking longer to read bloggy friends' posts, too. I definitely will catch up, and I really appreciate you coming by, even if it's a week later! Thanks for being such a great bloggy friend, Janna!

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