Wednesday, June 19, 2013
You are representative of our limitations. We are only human, and we have our talents and shortcomings. Knowing where we fall short is the beginning of making improvement in that area--should we want to do so. It's been awhile since my last #TopTen, so here is a list of my #TopTen things I'm not very good at:
10. Sewing. I can knit like a champ, but sew? My ability to sew is stops at owning a sewing machine--one that I haven't touched for about six years. You'd think that sewing is so much more welcomed because of its instant gratification appeal, but no--I must like the crafting that takes forever and a day to complete. I've tried to sew, and all I end up doing is pricking my fingers countless times with those annoying pins, jamming my thread in the fabric, or--the best yet--breaking my sewing needle on the machine. Four needles in a row. #MyLifeCannotDependOnIt
9. Singing. And while we're on that topic, let's add Dancing, too. I can carry a tune but I'm no singer. I can dance a routine but I have no rhythm. And that might be why some of my favorite shows are singing and dancing reality shows. I live vicariously through truly talented people. #PerhapsInMyNextLifetime
8. Remembering. From the plot of a recent movie I watched to where exactly I'm driving to, I seem to be losing some serious brain cells, thanks to my new membership of the 40s Club. At my physical checkup the other day, the nurse instructed me to put on the gown with the opening in the front, like a robe. On the drive home I suddenly realized that I had put it on exactly the wrong way. I can't quite explain this disconnect, but I should probably be grateful that I even realized my mistake. The next step would be going about my day oblivious to my own dementia. #ImReallyNotStupid
7. Public speaking. Terrible, terrible at this. I have a reflexive reaction to just to the thought of opening my mouth in public: my heart pounds so loudly that I swear everyone in the room can hear it. If I don't have to speak, still, my face flushes and my hands drip with sweat. If I do have to speak, I'll make no sense whatsoever, and then a clear train of thought will arrive in my head when my moment to speak is waaayyyy over. #WhyIStayVeryQuietAtMeetings
6. Twittering. *Raises both arms*. I've completely and utterly surrendered to Twitter. I'm no good at it. I don't use it correctly, and I suck at making witty, funny comebacks. I just don't know how to have a conversation with complete strangers. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having meaningful conversations with complete strangers, it's just that I am probably the boring-est stranger you'd ever talk to. #YourTweetingIsMyQuacking
5. Promoting blog. It is still hard for me to think that anyone would want to read this blog, unless you're my Dear Husband, who reads it because I shove a laptop two feet from his face whenever there is new content. Enough always comes to mind: is it good enough? interesting enough? bloggy enough? I don't actively seek out readers or followers or promote posts for maximum visibility on social media, but I do treasure the peeps who do come by from time to time. Do I wish I had more readers? Of course. Will I do anything about it? Probably not. It's just not me. I'm writing this for me, and if some readers enjoy it along the way, well, that makes my heart happy, too. #AdvertisementFail
4. Multitasking with music. Moms all know how to multitask, right? Sure, I can cook and post a status update on Facebook at the same time. Or I can clean and know exactly what my kiddos are doing at the same time. I can even knit and watch TV at the same time. But I cannot think while listening to music. Which means I must read, write, and think in absolute silence. The only time I can listen to music is when I clean, and even that is sometimes questionable. It's like my brain can only tolerate one voice at a time. #SorryMyBrainIsFull
3. Being a good bloggy friend. I'm very guilty of not being the most timely reader/commenter to my friends' blogs. I read them in volumes and spurts instead of routinely as posts are published (do others do this?). I prefer setting aside a chunk of time to read and comment because I don't always get computer time everyday. I also try to be vigilant about responding to comments here as much as I can, but sometimes that 'vigilance' sounds more like 'negligence'. Whoops, sorry! #HeadPalm
2. Schmoozing. In a large crowd at a party? I'm so not good at making conversation among people. There are way too many moments for awkward silences than I care for when I must converse with people I don't know. Schmoozing is an art, and one that I have no mastery of. If a good schmoozer is smooth, then I am as lumpy and bumpy as it gets. #FindMeInTheCornerWithTheBooze
1. Being fearless. I was not brought up to be fearless. In fact, I pretty much fear everything there is to fear (heights, speed, spiders, criticism). Which means that I don't know how to teach my own kiddos to be fearless. I know that some degree of fear is a good precaution for such things as stranger danger, but in most cases, one probably accomplishes more, or at least tries more new things, when one is more fear-less than fear-ful. One of my major parenting shortcomings is that my kiddos are not apt to try new things very readily. And I'm not one to encourage any sort of physical activity that has high risks of injury simply because I don't want them to suffer unnecessary pain. But of course, I realize that participation could also achieve just the opposite, as experience usually keeps injuries at bay. I'm probably overly cautious over all things, and not always in the best way, but it is what it is. They say one becomes less fearful as one ages, so there's still hope for me? #NotMadeToBeUnafraid
There are many more things that I am not good at, obvs! but these are the first ten that came to mind. Not to be down on myself for any of this, but it is a good start to know what I need to work on. Numbers 8, 3, and 1 I should definitely work on getting better at, and numbers 10, 9, and 4 I'll probably just not waste any more time and give up altogether right now. And maybe on a day where I'm treading and keeping my head just above water and need a self-esteem builder, I'll work on a #TopTen list of Things I'm Awesome At.
So, Dear Not-Good-At, hopefully your list will evolve over time. I know that some of the things I was not good at a decade ago I am much better at now. I am more self-assured and can say no when I need to, I care less about what others perceive of me, and I am better at protecting myself from emotional wreckage. And I know that's a good start.